Good evening people... I dunno what to make of my life now. To be honest with myself, its not something I really need. But I want it so badly. I miss the feeling of having someone to hold, someone to belong to... I have to hang in there. I shan't give up. I shan't give in. Everywhere I go, people are in relationships or talking about relationships. Its as if there're trying to spite me... But I know my mind is just trying to play tricks on me. I wish I could just stop thinking about them.

Just got home from Tampines Mall... Watched 'Johnny English' with the CG guys... It was a funny nonsensical show. Haven't laugh at such stupidity in a long time... :-) Bumped into Eileen again after the show. She was with this guy... Dunno whether it was the same one from last time. That same old sinking feeling came again. I don't know whats wrong with me. I just had a chat with Patricia before the movie about whether I was over her. About whether I could cope if she was to join our CG again. I guess I'm not? I can't even think of what to say whenever I see her.

I saw her on thursday night when the I went with some friends to 'BFD'.... Its this bar at East Coast Park. We went to check out the band there. I couldn't seem to talk to her. I would just be speechless whenever I saw her...
When I got home at around 2-ish... I found that I was locked out of my house. I had left my keys in my drumstick bag which was in church! Was in the process of making myself comfortable to sleep outside the house when she called... Apparently she wanted to transfer ownership of her handphone because she wanted a new sim card or something. It was bought under my name. We talked awhile. (Quite comfortably. I'm only silent when I see her.) How can anyone who changed so much still be so much the same? I would have chatted more with her if my phone hadn't died...

There is turmoil within me... Wanted to cry just now. Wanted to brood about it... But the lyrics below came to mind. You see what I mean when I say God never fails? You'd think He'd be sick of me and my whining by now... I don't want to be like this anymore. What can I learn from this? How do I improve myself through this?

::: Lyric of the Day :::
When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul

My sin, O the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part but the whole
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, O my soul

It is well (it is well)
With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul